Mondays with Jack, LAST edition - and a GIVEAWAY!

(If you're new here, and you want to know what this weekly feature is was all about, see here.)

Well friends, I knew it would eventually come to this: the very last edition of Mondays with Jack Handey. This is the 52nd edition - a year's worth of Monday smiles! And to celebrate, I'm having a Jack Handey giveaway at the end of this post!!

Cowboy country magnets 

"If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine." -- Jack Handey

And now for the giveaway! The winner will receive the latest book by Jack Handey - filled with his awesome sense of humor:

MANDATORY entry: Tell me your favorite day of the week in a comment below. Be sure to leave an email address or some way I can reach you!

EXTRA ENTRIES:

+1 Follow my blog 

+1 Like me on Facebook

+1 Follow me on Twitter

+1 Share this giveaway on twitter and/or facebook

(Sample tweet: Love to laugh? Enter to win a book by Jack Handey on @yes_teacher 's blog! http://tiny.cc/jh29i )

Giveaway is open worldwide and will end 8/15 at 11:59 PM. Winner will be announced and notified the following day. Good luck!

Mondays with Jack, 51st edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Lemonade Storm by Michelle Christina

"Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, 'Boy am I glad I'm not out in that!'" --Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 50th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

I pinky swear by Shayne Art.

"Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?" -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 49th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Angel Wing Necklace from Rose and Raven

"It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its' wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 48th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Two Trees Tshirt from Critter Jitters

"When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 47th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Art Print from Luna Clay Design

"Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick" -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 46th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Cufflinks by Dabble Design

"If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, Injection? I thought you said 'inspection.'" They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 45th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

The Cozy Coupe Original Acrylic Painting from The Handle

"I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes." - Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 44th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Luminous Honey Drop Necklace from Wild Poppy Shoppe.

"Whenever anyone says 'I can't,' it makes me wish he'd get stung to death by about ten thousand bees. When he says 'I'll try,' five thousand bees. ('I can,' one bee.)" -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 43rd edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Fine Art Photograph by Retrospect Photo

"Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 42nd edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

by Little Retreats

"If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown,  because people see that and they think 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.'" -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 41st edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Banner Day from JM Barclay

"When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka English.' " -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 40th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Rustic Log Vase from Tanja Sova

"If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 39th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Vintage Strong Man from Madman Incognito

"Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger." --Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 38th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

8x10 Finger Cuddle Artwork Photo by Dancing Pancake Studio

"On the other hand, we have different fingers." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 37th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Needlefelted Caterpillar by Yarn Mantra

"Why can't the ant and the caterpillar just get along? One eats grass, the other eats Caterpillars... Oh, I see now." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 36th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Woman, Child, and Beggar Hand Cut Silhouette by Mountain Brook

"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 35th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Fire Engine Charm Necklace from Treasured Charms

"The difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman." --Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 34th edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Banksy Caveman MacBook Decal Sticker from InkedStudio

"When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear." -- Jack Handey

Mondays with Jack, 33rd edition

Welcome to the latest edition of Mondays with Jack! If you want to know what this weekly feature is all about, see here.

Salvaged Perpetual Clock from AM Radio

"Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are." -- Jack Handey