Monday, July 23, 2012

New Mom Advice by A Life of Our Own

While I'm spending time with the little guy, my bloggy friends have generously agreed to write guest posts for me! Hope you enjoy!

Hi, all. I'm Venassa and I'm super excited to be blogging at Yes Teacher today. I don't do this very often, so I'm a little nervous. I promise I'm not sitting here trying to picture the audience, you guys, in your underwear though. I'm not that nervous, okay?

So like I said, I'm Venassa. I blog over at A Life of Our Own, cause it's just me and my little girl all on our own. Kind of. I'm in my mid-twenties and the mother of a 9 month old baby girl. You would think  nine months would give me lots of insight into motherhood, but who I am kidding - I still know next to nothing. Still, I'll try to share with you a few things I have learned. And not your cliched 'sleep when she sleeps' kind of advice, although I definitely followed that one to the best of my ability.

A) Lose All Expectations
I can't stress this one enough. There are a few things you can count on - like sleep loss and dirty diapers, but not much else.
I went to the hospital in labor expecting a natural birth, actually wanted a c-section, and ended up having a surprise C-section after being in labor for hours. I expected to breast feed. My baby wasn't having it. I expected to never feel well-rested again, but it does happen. There are weeks where my daughter will sleep amazingly, and boom - all of a sudden we're waking up 2-3 times a night for two weeks, for seemingly no reason at all.
I've learned to always expect the worst. Call me a pessimist, but it means things usually go better than expected.

B) Have a Mom Friend
Or a nurse friend, or a mom of your own, either way have someone you can call over every little freak out. When I'm particularly confused, frustrated, scared or just plain worried about something my daughter does, I always call my Mom first. If she doesn't know what to do, she knows where to send me to find out. It also helps to have someone to vent to.

My baby hates to eat. Yeah, I find it strange, too. But it's nice to have someone to call and complain to when there's sweet potatoes on the ceiling, in your eye, and the baby has yet to swallow a bite. Babies are weird. I'm told they need to learn how to eat.

C) Take Some Mommy Time
I, and so many others, have the hardest time with this. I feel so guilty leaving my daughter with a babysitter, unless I'm doing something necessary like working. But it's so important to have some 'you' time every now and then. A time to recharge, feel like a person again, and not just a mom. Just be sure to leave the little one with someone you'd trust with your life, because this little person is your life, and you can't relax if you're worrying about the baby.

And of course, soak up all the sleep you can, all the cuddles you can, and learn to love having food everywhere and anywhere. And whatever you do, don't help them learn how to crawl. It's cute for the first two days but after that it's all bumped heads and drool soaked everything. It's just a mess.


  1. I have a 9 year old and a 3 year old. That last one is so important! For the longest time, I felt like a terrible mother if I "pawned" my kids off on someone, just so I could have some quiet time. Now? I really think I am a better mommy since I have one night a week that I am "off duty"!

  2. This is so good - and for someone like me, it's especially important to have someone to talk to! My midwife stresses that every. Single. Time we meet together. "Have you set up a few people who are okay with you calling them when you're feeling overwhelmed? Are you actually calling them? Really??" I think it can be hard to let your guard down to others and admit that you're overwhelmed or depressed, but it is so SO important for moms, I think.

  3. Thanks for letting me guest post :)