Monday, April 16, 2012

Missionary Kid Monday: Freshman Regrets

{For more on this series, click here}

I'm embarrassed about my whole first semester of college. If I could go back in time, I'd give myself a good ol' fashioned kick in the pants.

Here's how my outward behavior can be summed up:

I ate.
I slept.
I studied.

Here's what my insides looked like:

I pouted.
I was homesick.
I thought I was better than everyone else.
I wanted acceptance from my American peers - even though I refused to extend them any.

I spent a lot of time on the phone and via e-mail with high school friends who were spread out across the country. I took a road trip to Taylor to visit some of them and wished I had gone to college there instead! In fact, I even ordered a transfer application once I got back.

Meanwhile, all the other freshmen in my dorm were forming friendships. They were establishing the normal clicks that develop during college. I would join in with a few activities here and there, but always as the outsider.

While I was busy pouting and wishing I was elsewhere, I was missing the boat on that crucial stage where new friendships are formed.


And once that window of time closed, there was no real turning back. So I have a lot of regret about that first semester.

One noteworthy event that November:

My Taylor University transfer application came in the mail. I remember holding it, alone in my dorm room. Thinking: Do I follow my friends for a chance at a happier college career? Or do I stay put here - the only college where I can get my deaf ed degree?

And then that decisive moment of truth when I threw the application into the trash can. That was the moment when I chose to focus on my future instead of trying to relive the past. The moment that I did what I had to do instead of what I felt like doing. That was the moment when I became an adult!

What about you? When did you know you were officially an adult?


  1. Girl, I love the new design! Your picture is entirely too cute there. I've been meaning for a bit of a blog makeover too, but I doubt I'll get around to it anytime soon!

  2. Bah, in all my excitement for your new design, I forgot to actually comment on the post. I went to a different school for my first year and then transferred for a year, and now I'm transferring again in the fall. Lol I've missed plenty of the crucial friendship building time! Glad you decided to stay. Can't wait to hear about how your sophomore year went!

  3. Incredible! So happy that you found that strength. Oh, and I hope I never become an adult. ;)

  4. I don't think I will ever be an adult!!! Or I'm not sure I will ever see myself as one.

  5. That took a lot of courage! I'm still working on becoming an adult!